2017 In Review

My New Year’s Resolution is to stop letting fear run my life. Stop being so afraid to go after the things that I want, stop letting the fear of no money keep me from doing things. This year I’m going to take risks and I’m going to fall even more in love with myself and this life I lead.

January 1st

On the very first day of 2017, I made a resolution to stop letting fear run my life. Now, it is the very last day of 2017, and I think I have made that happen. I am currently sitting in the bed I am claiming as mine for the next week and a half, in a flat that I share with 11 other girls, just a short train ride to the heart of London. I could be sitting at home in the -6 degree weather, but instead I am praising the lord for 50 degree days (even if it does rain all the time). I feel that speaks volumes about the leaps and bounds I am taking in my own personal growth.

While some of the lessons I’ve learned this year were much harder to go through than others, and some I am still in the middle of, I am glad that I went through them. I let go of things I couldn’t change and accepted that I can’t fix everyone else’s problems. I let myself get close to new people. I learned what a healthy, trusting relationship feels like. I spent a great deal of time exploring on my own. I embraced my writing on a whole new level. I have come to terms with several of my insecurities. I have made peace with my pain. I let myself do things regardless of money.

This year, I became more me.

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It has been a wild year, and here are some of the highlights:

  • Beginning of a new year on South Beach

  • Watching the Hawkeyes play in a bowl game

  • Having my bag returned with everything in it after it was stolen on spring break

  • Getting my “Anyway” tattoo

  • Crowd surfing with the drummer of ADTR’s girlfriend’s mom

  • Meeting the With Confidence dudes

  • Launching this blog

  • Taking my best friend’s little sister to her first Warped Tour

  • Going through all of my grandma’s old photos and listening to her tell stories about the family

  • Reuniting with my Colorado friends

  • Singing on stage with Dennis Lee of Alesana

  • Turning 21

  • Ed Zone tailgates

  • Crowd surfing in a venue with a no-tolerance policy and having the lead singer of my favorite band sing back to me for a good 20 seconds

  • Drinking an entire fishbowl with Storm in under 20 minutes

  • Storming the field after the Hawks beat Ohio State

  • Going to my first Drag Kings show

  • Traveling to London

Photo by: Ryan Gause

Photo by: Ryan Gause

In all of my time spent learning about myself, I feel I neglected a huge aspect of my life: social awareness. I spent twelve months focusing on me and letting others deal with their own problems on their own. In that time, I let myself harden. I’m starting to realize just how mean I can be to the people that I care about, even unintentionally, and it’s a quality I don’t like at all. I need to find a balance — take care of myself, but be mindful of others in the process.

I’ll be working on it in 2018.

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