Another Banner Year
It’s honestly difficult for me to wrap my head around the fact that the so many of my life’s major events have taken place in the last decade. I began 2010 as a thirteen-year-old girl; socially awkward, anxious, muted. I’m leaving 2019 as a twenty-three year-old woman; independent, self-assured, resilient.
2009 — Music @ The Mall in Keokuk, Iowa
July 2009 — Vans Warped Tour Chicago
Developmentally speaking, these have been some of the most crucial years of my life. While I will continue to learn things that will challenge the way I perceive the world for the duration of my life, my brain is almost fully developed. I am nearly whole.
March 2019 — London, England
June 2019 — Atlantic City, New Jersey
Each year, I sit down and think of all the major things that have happened to me and set my intentions for the upcoming year. This is, quite possibly, the only consistency of my blog (Oops. I hope to be better about this next year). This year was especially important for me to do so. Even before I wrote down anything, I felt like I had moved mountains this year.
In some ways, 2019 has been one of the hardest years I have lived so far:
I continued to sort through the conflicting feelings surrounding the loss of my mother, while also grieving the loss of my grandma.
I entered the job market, faced rejection after rejection, and fought overwhelming feelings of inadequacy every way that I turned for months on end.
I picked myself apart after multiple people I felt I truly connected with chose to stop pursuing relationships with me.
I struggled to make a life for myself, alone, in a new city 3 hours away from home.
In other ways, 2019 has been one of the most rewarding years I have lived so far:
I traveled so much this year; to London, Amsterdam, Atlantic City, Los Angeles, Tampa, Miami, and Fort Meyers. This allowed me to explore new cultures and meet so many fascinating people all over the globe.
I celebrated our 10 year friendship anniversary with my best friend.
I accepted a full-time Marketing Assistant position at Horizon Events Center (a multi-purpose venue based out of Des Moines, Iowa), where I help construct marketing strategies for concerts and assist in booking private rentals.
I wrote an updated business plan for my company, which was used to help secure financing for a major renovation of the entire property.
I was awarded a 20% raise to my salary after just six months of being employed, a rarity among professionals my age.
I accidentally became an Associate Producer of a feature film.
I started taking on freelance editing projects, and used my knowledge of the literary world to help bring various works to life.
July 2019 — Los Angeles, California
November 2019 — Film crew in Des Moines, Iowa
All of the things I went through this year banded together to chew me up and spit me back out. I am so grateful they did, because it showed me exactly what I am made of. I am on the brink of something. I don’t know what exactly, but I can feel the energy buzzing around me. I literally feel a tingling sensation at the tip of my tongue when I think of all that I hope to create, and my heart races when I think of all the places I plan to go.
For me, 2019 was a year of growth and discovery. Throughout my entire life I have been told time and time again that I would go on to do big things, and now I am actually starting to believe it.
Over the next year, I hope to gain even more clarity as to what I can accomplish with my life. I want to learn to let go of people and things not meant for me, allowing me to stay open to the things that are. I want to make a conscious effort to explore my creative interests more deeply—take more photos, write more, submit my work to publications, and take on even more freelance editing projects.
I am manifesting many successes in 2020.