The Universe Is Conspiring
“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” ― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
I first read The Alchemist over the summer and this quote has been stuck in the back of my mind ever since.
I believe that everything we experience has a purpose. Every encounter, every conversation, every decision made serves the world in some way, whether we understand what purpose lies beneath in that moment or not. “Everything happens for a reason” has been my mantra for years. Maybe this is just my way of coping with the atrocities of the world, but can you really blame me? It feels good to have an unshakeable faith that everything will work out one way or another.
Lately I’ve been noticing the ways the universe is conspiring to help me achieve my dreams. I’ve been a college graduate for two months now. I have applied to probably 30+ jobs at this point (all of which I am more than qualified for with all of my internship experiences, I might add). Yet I still have absolutely no leads. I haven’t completed a single interview. Every day of this brings a new range of emotions—is the next rejection email I receive going to spark a new identity crisis because not a single person reading my application thought I was worthy of an interview, or will I breathe a sigh of relief because it’s another day I don’t have to make any difficult decisions?
Today I had an epiphany of sorts. More than any job or opportunity that I could possibly set my mind on having, I want to understand myself and to heal from childhood traumas. I want to present myself to the world as a whole woman; stable, confident, connected. The universe knows that I want this, and it needs to happen before I’ll ever be ready to make the move out of Iowa. Sure, if I finally landed a publishing job, I could find a new therapist and attempt to start this work again in a brand new city. But then I would be isolated, my entire support system living halfway across the country. In order to have the best odds at achieving my life goals, I need my current therapist—the woman who shares my sister’s name and my best friend’s birthday. I need this city and the comfort of familiarity.
I am a person created for much bigger things, this I am certain of. I was birthed with a fire inside of me, one that reminds me that mediocrity has never been, and will never be, enough. I have passion, drive, and more empathy than I know how to handle at times. Only when I am finished with the work on my own person will I be ready take all of these things I have brewing inside of me and make changes to the world.
When I find peace within myself, I will finally have the strength to do the remarkable things I was created to do. While I don’t have a clear path right now, I am not worried because I know the whole universe will conspire to help me achieve whatever it is.